What if Pinocchio said "My nose will grow"?

I have been introduced to such a wonderful multitude of humorous things since arriving at college. First and foremost, my YouTube knowledge has been immeasurably expanded. I've learned about everything from angry cinnamon rolls to Strom Thurmond jokes to bro rape.

Secondly, I've discovered new and exciting internet memes, such as the Philosoraptor and Courage Wolf.

You said it, buddy.

Lastly, and most importantly, fate smiled upon my small yet undeniably desirable frame yesterday as I walked through Borders. I found what could quite possibly be the most influential book in the history of my life--even more groundbreaking than Stephen Colbert's masterpiece, "I Am America (and So Can You!)"

That's right--we're talking "Pride and Prejudice and ZOMBIES!"

I can now officially die happy. (Or should I say...UNdie happy? Does that work? No? Ok.)