The Devil Knows Me

As I float through life's purplish lagoon

I pensively gaze at the moon

And I think "boredom's rife...

...what else is there in life

but smoldering ashes and poon?"

That's for being such a cunt!

Some would say it was funny and cute
And I'd argue, but the point is quite moot
But I had so much fun
For such a short run
All the while in a big furry suit

This all happened, more or less

A long, long time ago (no, that's NOT where I'm going with this), I posted a list of my Top 25 Favorite Movies of All Time. It was a fun exercise, and seeing as how I haven't updated this blog in eons, I figured I'd kick off this new segment with something similar.

How about by Favorite Books of All Time? I've read plenty in my time--not nearly as much as I've watched movies--but plenty.

So how about a Top 10?

1. The Lord of the Rings (yes, it's one book, people)

2. The Great Gatsby

3. The Once and Future King

4. The Vampire Lestat

5. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

6. Nineteen Eighty-Four

7. Slaughterhouse-Five

8. To Kill a Mockingbird

9. A Wizard of Earthsea

10. Heart of Darkness

Apparently, starting a book title with the word "The" is all that's required for me to give it high praise.

Maybe sometime I'll put together an Honorable Mention list, because I know you're all just aching to know. All 3 of you.

PS: Just like the movie post, anyone who can tell me which of the books the quote is from gets extra cool points. They're valuable, mind you.

Compliments of Tom Seabrook

By the gallon I gulp Diet Coke

And I drink all that drank and I smoke

"But why," you might say,

"Would you throw life away?"

And I'll say, "I'm just in on the joke."

Witteh Kitteh

So as of yesterday, my first semester as a college student is officially over. I can honestly say it was the most eventful, fun, and exciting four months of my life so far. I thought I'd take the time to record the highlights:

• Finding a music note with a picture of Dr. A on my door, signifying that I got into Choir
• Taking the arduous bike ride to Cheeburger with TJ, Rob, and Cody
• My now-famous campus crawl with Scott
• Receiving the e-mail telling me I was selected to play Andrew Aguecheek in Twelfth Night
• Crashing an a cappella party with Cody
• Crying tears of joy after leaving my first Choir party
• The marathon that was Homecoming
• Crying about Stanislavski
• Streaking across the Sunken Gardens
• Eurydice callbacks
• Taking TJ and Rawls to Ghent
• Blowout...
• ...followed one day later by MISTLETOE

Flax on a Distaff

There once was a foolish knight

Who couldn't do anything right

He got slapped in the face

And his eyes sprayed with mace

'Twas a truly hilarious plight!

A short CNN-inspired entry

So I normally prohibit myself from posting two non-limerick entries in a row, but I just couldn't resist writing about what I saw when I visited CNN.com on a whim today.

First, I noticed a rather self-evident headline that read: "No sex in room while roommate is present." Well, that seems like common sense to me. But it gets better. According to the article, Tufts University has added a clause into their student handbook that not only prohibits sex while a roommate is present, but also makes sexiling illegal. Ok, so first of all, that's going to be nigh on impossible to enforce. And on top of that (pun absolutely intended), how can a poor sex-deprived Tufts frat boy get his fix? Mandatory threesomes? I mean, that's not that bad when you look at it.

And just let me mention one other front page headline: "Would-be assassin hid bomb in underwear." I don't think I have to tell you what this guy was compensating for.